Public Bum Scratching

scratch the bottom“Dear Bossy: I work with a man who repeatedly scratches his rear end.  How can i tell him this is unacceptable office behaviour without offending him?”

The question was posed on Australia’s Ask Bossy Blog.  Here’s the verdict:

Bossy says: … it’s time to abandon politics and get straight to the point.

Next time he goes in for a scratch enquire politely whether he has “found anything good?” When he looks quizzical, just make the motion of scratching your own behind. Embarrassing for him yes, but in many ways a public service. He needs to be alerted to the face that scratching your bum in public is not the key to success; bum excavation being almost always best done in private.

PS.  Other questions you could pose are: “Picking a winner? or “mining for opals?”

On asianfanatics.net for everything asian a forum was simply asked “do you scratch your butt in public”.  Responses were varied:

da freek: we live in a free world . . . and i’d say if it feels good .. do it !!  so i will scratch my ass in public but i refrain from scratching my groin…

orangekoko:  hMm.. i totally do that. hahaha most of the time.. unless im in front of my boss or something like that. he would yell the crap outta me. =D

cal:  If You Need To Scratch Your Butt. You Have A Personal Hygiene Problem :lol?: And No I Don’t Scratch My Butt.

A huge proportion of respondents admitted to discrete butt scratching, preferably in a restroom or through sitting down in such a way that the appropriate patch of rump receives attention.

Bum Scratching is not only a concern in the physical world, you may need to pull it off in video games.  For example, if you have an itch that needs tending in Halo 3, look no further than this WikiHow article.

1. Put your weapon down. (RB + LB + A + LS + Down D-Pad). Press all these at the same time, with your upper lip, chin or toe pressing “Down” on the “D-Pad”. “LS” is pressing the left stick down.

2. Find another weapon, preferably a small or medium sized one.

3. Crouch while switching between them rapidly. Other players will see you scratching your butt.

But back to the physical world.  If you want to get to the root of the problem, you probably should go for ANA.NO.ITCH The itch STOPS here! Naturally.”  Natacha from Schaumburg, Ills. can vouch for the efficacy of this product:

You are my prayer come true.  I have been dealing with this annoying itch for 4 years.  Nothing helped.  I would cry myself to sleep (if I fell asleep.)  No OTC, Rx medicine helped.  There were days & nights I would lay on the bed just helplessly crying.  I used AnaNOitch-D and IO am itch free! finally.  Thank you.  You saved my life from “THE ITCH.”

So there you have it, as the ANA.NO.ITCH website so aptly puts it:  THE HOLIDAYS ARE GOING TO BE WITH US SOON!  DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE ITCHING…….. OR HAVING FUN?  YOUR CALL!

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Bjorn Karlman

8 thoughts on “Public Bum Scratching”

  1. Other annoying public hygiene habits: Nose-picking and earwax digging (often followed up with finger-licking), genital scratching (and, for guys, crotch adjusting; for ladies, boob adjusting).

    Annoying in the office: nail clipping, non-stop loud sniffling, teeth clicking/grinding, throat-clearing, and – do we really have to say it? – loud and noxious indiscrete flatulation.

  2. Hahaha… if you scratch in Mexico this is what you’ll get… someone recommending you to kill parasites…. I couldn’t find the original Ad but you can so hear the very much popular song from the real comercial in the background. hahahha laugh a little.

  3. A subject too long ignored! My brother scratches his crotch in front of my wife and I during conversation and it is quite annoying! I am glad this happens everywhere, or something similar!

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