I am not sure why this quote from Tim Ferriss has had such an effect on me over the years, but it has:

“There have been several points in my life… at which I saw my future as another fat man in a midlife-crisis BMW.  I simply looked at those who were 15-20 years ahead of me on the same (professional) track… and it scared the hell out of me.”

This passage from “The 4-Hour Workweek” is one of the most motivating I have come across in current lifestyle lit.

Whenever I feel like my priorities are off or I am making bad long-term decisions I try to project out 20 years or so and think about what will happen if I continue life like this:

Boring Job – Will I be stuck in a mind-numbing job?  A close friend of mine just graduated from law school last weekend.  We had some downtime after the commencement ceremony and were talking about what motivated our generation relative to what motivated that of our parents.

We decided (perhaps unfairly) that whereas our parents’ generation had money as their main motivator when it came to professional life, our motivators were more lifestyle driven.

For example, if you wanted to recruit our parents’ generation when they were young professionals you could lock them in by promising to double their income.  That, while still attractive, would not go as far with our generation which would likely prefer a 50% increase in income, two weeks of additional paid vacation and the option to work from home.

More importantly, Gen Y professionals crave meaning in their work lives.  THAT is why the bald, fat man in the red BMW scares the crap out of us.  We don’t want to be corporate automatons.

Ridiculous Mortgage – As the options of mobile living and worldwide travel/work become more and more of a reality today, home ownership (with the recent memory of home values plummeting insanely) is less and less of a draw.  Why tie yourself down to one location?  Why sign yourself up for the golden handcuffs of an awful (yet well-paid) job just to pay the mortgage for a house that you have long-since come to resent despite its square footage?

Estranged Spouse and Kids – If there were ever a thing that the boomers proved conclusively, it is the fact that their obsession with work and materialism ruined families.  Time away from home skewed priorities and the Western epidemic of workaholism has added up to a lifestyle where relationships that should matter, don’t.  The result is the most dysfunctional set of family dynamics on record.

Overworked – Allow me to continue on the subject of workaholism. An entrepreneur friend of mine with a lot of physician friends says that he hears the same thing over and over:  “How do I get out of the rat race?  I want out!”  These doctors, while well paid, fully realize that if they stop working their 12 hour days, shuttling patients in and out of their offices, the game is over, no moolah.  So they are trapped.  And they hate it.

Obese – When you take on boomer work values you also take on their tendency to be obese.  Part of what’s so scary about the guy in the red BMW is that, despite his status symbol, he is a chunkster.  Nobody is impressed.  And worse yet, the rat race is only going to make it worse.  The downward spiral of horrible lifestyle decisions, fueled by comfort food, late hours, terrible relationship and anti-depressants is a heart attack waiting to happen.  We need something new.

Savvy, global do-gooding

We each have an opportunity to define this “new” lifestyle.  My goals behind CultureMutt are to help contribute to this conversation about a healthier, more compassionate, more exciting, more globally-minded lifestyle.  We need to get intentional about savvy, global do-gooding.  What is the cost of a little experimentation when the “norm” is the rat race and nobody healthy enjoys it?

Another Tim Ferriss quote:

“Gold is getting old.  The New Rich (NR) are those who abandon the deferred-life plan and create luxury lifestyles in the present using the currency of the New Rich: time and mobility.  This is an art and a science we will refer to as Lifestyle Design (LD).”

Stay tuned, the next couple posts will be about Lifestyle Design.

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Bjorn Karlman

I’ll never forget it.  I was 16, working in a little village in the Cavite province of the Philippines, just outside Manila.  On this particular occasion I was at a Korean friend’s house.  I was joining about 10 other guys in repeatedly bowing down to a Korean grandmother.

The occasion was Korean New Year (the first day of the lunar calendar).  The bowing was part of an ancestral ritual called Sebae and was basically a way to show respect for elders.  With the grandma being the eldest person in the room, she was the object of our ceremonial bowing.

The ritual, the traditional hanbok dress that some of the crowd wore, and the absolutely amazing food that lay waiting made for a pretty unforgettable impression.

Thanks to the help of the truly horrifying iPhone AgingBooth app (and an effect from Instagram), I’ve taken a sneak peak at my future (opposite).  It’s wrinkled.

As much as this is a total gag app, it actually made me think.  Maybe it isn’t too far off.  Maybe that actually is how I will look at 65.

“Seeing” myself at 65 made me think of what I would want other parts of my life to look like.  Here’s a working list:

1)  Jammie and I have two kids: Boy and girl.  Hopefully some grandkids… but that is unlikely given the fact that WE don’t even have kids yet.

2)  Homeless:  We don’t live anywhere full-time.  Instead we have favorite hubs where we kick it.  Here’s a sublist of those places:  London, Los Angeles, Butte County (CA), Buenos Aires, Hong Kong, Manila.

3)  We see those closest to us a LOT:  One of my key complaints about life now is that, at best, Jammie and I see those closest to us a few times a year.  In the case of my family, it is like once or twice a year.  That isn’t good enough.  We have GOT to be more mobile.

3)  Jammie and I speak: Mandarin.  (To keep up with the kids who will have had a Mandarin-speaking nanny.)

4)  I’m looking back at a career that: Meant something and helped people.  Internationally.

5)  I’m still blogging for CultureMutt:  And I hope YOU are still reading and commenting:)

6)  I’m not scared of my age:  I work with a woman who volunteers in my office and is one of the sharpest, most elegantly dressed people I know.  Dorothy is 97.  I want to be her.

7)  I’m in marathon runner shape:  I have started running again and my goal is to get in shape for several marathons a year.  And keep it up.

8)  I am volunteering for something that requires inordinate amounts of public speaking:  Maybe it is because I joined Toastmasters (a truly superb, international, Public Speaking society with over a quarter million members worldwide) but I LOVE public speaking and take every opportunity I can get to get better at it.  Volunteer work involving public speaking would be great.

9)  I’m enrolled in a top-notch culinary institute:  I would love to go back to school at 65.  Something practical like chef’s credentials would be ideal.

I am sure I’ll add to the list but this is fine for now.  How would your list look?  Tell me in the comments.

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Two More Things…

1) We’ll be looking at the aging process from a multicultural perspective this week so be sure to check back in.

2)  At my last weigh-in, I had lost approx 13 lbs since I started my First Monthly Challenge.  This will be my last week of the juice / smoothie diet so I am looking for a strong finish and will keep you posted.

Seoul is exploding with activity.

I was last there a couple years ago and was blown away by the energy and sheer willpower on display.  Every weekday my roommates woke up at about 5:00 AM to rush to work and school respectively.  I would get in the spirit and go jogging down the streets of Gangnam-gu (Seoul’s Beverly Hills) before dawn and swarms of people would already be out, rushing to their first appointments. “Diligence” seemed to be the word on everyone’s lips.  People worked ridiculous hours.  School kids were in after-school classes until 8:00 PM or later at night.  The city never seemed to stop.  It blew my mind.

Facts like these had me mesmerized:

1) Koreans work the longest hours in the industrialized world.

2) The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) listed Koreans as spending the least time doing unpaid shopping each day (13 minutes) of all OECD country members.  (France had the most at 32 minutes… those slackers…)

3) Koreans spend more money per capita on education than any other country

4) Koreans, on average, take so little vacation time that, in 2010, the government felt the need to intervene and force government employees to submit plans to their bosses to take 16 days off that year. 

With this incredibly strong work ethic you would expend tremendous results.  And to be fair, since the Korean War, South Korea has risen to and joined the ranks of some of the most wealthy countries in the world.  However, all the hours and exertion don’t automatically translate into results.  Korean productivity ranks very low compared to other industrialized countries.

Why?  Check out these thoughts from Korean politician Moon Kook-hyun, head of the Creative Korea Party.

“Yes, sometimes we should work harder, but most times we should work smarter,”

“Government policies will determine whether Korea stays a muscle-based economy, or is upgraded to a knowledge-based economy,”

The habit of working long hours at low levels of productivity is “like brainwashing for Koreans,” he said. “Our leaders need to be disconnected from their former ways.”‘

So take a lesson from the Korean example.  Be diligent, by all means, but value results over dedication.  You have a life to live.

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Bjorn Karlman

For the first 20 years of my life I loved complaining about ugly Americans.  You know what I am talking about:  Arrogant.  Ignorant of the rest of the world.  Loud.  Barely unilingual.  Chasing a purely materialistic version of the American Dream.  The kind that believes that the answer to every diplomatic crisis is a healthy bombing.

Useless Critique

As much as I could list the faults of ugly Americans, I realized after moving to the United States, that as much as these tired talking points about ugly Americans may have been on point, harping on about them was helping nothing.

Qualities of the Beautiful American

So I started thinking about the future of the United States.  What would constitute a “beautiful American?”  Weren’t there already American models of: savvy, global do-gooding?  Could this behavior become sought after as the new American Dream?

I recently re-wrote, the About section (do check it out, it’s WAY more concise) of CultureMutt and I define the blog’s “savvy, global do-gooding” as boiling down to:

“… these three guiding principles:

1) You are happiest when you are helping others.

2) The best kind of adventure is found in international do-gooding.

3) To be of service internationally you have to first understand people and cultures.”

Just as it is true that the ugly American is truly horrendous, the beautiful American, as defined by a willingness to help others through international, culturally-appropriate service, is genuinely impressive and has always been around.

I recently heard a definition of art as being “that which chases away ugliness”.  Let’s dedicate ourselves to chasing away the ugliness in American society.  It’s time to build on what is beautiful.  Let’s welcome in the era of the Beautiful American.

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Bjorn Karlman

I seriously hate being an immigrant.

Right now, not even the fact that I am married to an American is not going to save me the $1000 plus that I will blow on another international trip to an American consulate to get a visa stamped in my passport (I haven’t gotten my green card yet).  I have to leave the country and get this visa stamp if I hope to travel internationally and re-enter the United States with permission to work.  Absurd.  Hence the dour look on my face as I write this at Starbucks in Terminal B in Sacramento International Airport.

I am not yet ready to look at the bright side of all this (there may be some happier immigration-related posts later this week if my rendezvous at the US Consulate in Calgary goes as planned.)  So for now, let’s wallow in pessimism and complain about the crappy state of the immigration process in seven, rambling points:

1)  There are too many jokes about immigrants – starting with my wife Jammie’s joke that I have blogged about before.  She LOVES asking, “Why am I  the one who looks like I need the green card,” really enjoying the irony of the Filipina who is this white boy’s ticket to America.

2)  Life is always more complicated for immigrants – ever since I was in college it has been the SAME story – you’ve got to jump through ALL these hoops if you want to study/live in the US.  Depending on where you are from, the paperwork and the uncertainty surrounding whether or not you will get a student visa is absolutely exhausting.

3)  Immigration to the United States (or anywhere, for that matter) is BEYOND humiliating – When I finally arrived at my American school I had to go to something called International Student Orientation where they shared gems like “take daily showers and wear deodorant.”  Welcome to America indeed.

4)  Immigrants are always at the mercy of the host country – I remember landing in Chicago after a trip back to the UK for Christmas.  An airport official at the immigration desks started yelling at the huge crowd of non-US travelers that were lined up, immigration forms in hand, trying to get in the country.  It was as though we were a crowd of misbehaving school children.  I raised my hand and asked if she was going to do anything about the fact that the super slow immigration officials were causing people to miss their flights.  The collective humiliation of being yelled at as a crowd quickly became personal as she directed her plump ire at me, pontificating on about how we were just going to have to “wait our turn.”  I complained heartily to their customer service people and missed the last bus to Michigan.

5)  Being an immigrant is ALWAYS more expensive – If it were not for the fact that I got lucky and have worked for extremely generous employers, I would be completely broke at this point.  The paper work that has been filed for me to work in the US on a professional non-immigrant H-1B (too confusing to go into the reasoning behind this category here) visa has cost about $15,000 and I have only worked in the United States for five years.  It is absolutely ridiculous.  Having a legal immigration status is immensely costly.  And we wonder why we have a problem with illegal immigration.

6)  The life of an immigrant feels like one long interview process – Living under the constant threat of deportation for the slightest infraction is hardly a great way to enjoy the American life.  It is super stressful.  I have my THIRD immigration interrogation in five years this Tuesday at the US consulate in Calgary just so I can get a visa stamped in my passport for which my employer has already spent thousands of dollars.

7)  You are at the mercy of politicians – It is not ordinary Americans that are causing all of this drama.  It is a completely inefficient Congress.  Immigration comes up in every election cycle, especially in the border states.  Good immigration news is the number one issue in many voters’ minds.  But let’s be real, does anything constructive EVER happen?  It certainly doesn’t feel like it.  Immigration problems are here to stay.

OK, enough negativity for now.  On Tuesday we look at whether or not it is worth immigrating to the United States anymore.

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Bjorn Karlman

There’s nothing more miserable than feeling lonely and friendless while traveling or working abroad.  The tragic thing is that we often lose friends when abroad because we break some fundamental rules, often without meaning to.  Complete alienation is a sad, sad state and is to be avoided if at all possible.  To do so it helps to remember just how people lose friends.  Here’s a handy Top 10 List:

1)  Keep talking about how amazing it is back home – This one drives locals bonkers.  “Why did you come here if you were just going to talk about your amazing country all the time?”  It’s a valid question.  Blabbering on about your home country is insecure and discourteous.  Enjoy your host country for what it brings.  Wisconsin can be fully enjoyed in all its cheesy glory upon your return.

2)  Take it upon yourself to compare things to home – Here’s a related one that nevertheless needs to be emphasized.  NOBODY wants to know how big, small, cute, dirty or cramped the local transportation, monuments, stores or hotel rooms are compared to what you have at home.  Often these comparisons come across as patronizing and they are rarely appreciated.  Even if you are asked to compare something local to what you have at home, AVOID it, especially if there is any chance you will be perceived as looking down at the local scene.

3)  Be too eager – Don’t worry, if you have just arrived somewhere new you will eventually meet people and make friends.  Don’t be a desperate loser.  Over-eager types are avoided like the plague because they get exhausting on the trail.  Don’t be that person who pounces on locals or fellow travelers with a torrent of questions and over-enthusiastic talk about everything.

4)  Be a clingy life sap – Similarly, don’t be a leech.  Give your new friends some space.  You do not need to hang out with them 24/7.  Show some independence.  Go exploring on your own.  You don’t want to lose friends because you tire them out and never give them a break.

5)  Refuse to learn the language  - Nobody is saying you have to be fluent.  But don’t be so scared off by the local tongue that you don’t try to learn and use some of it.  By trying to speak the language you automatically endear yourself to locals.  You may think that you are going to embarrass yourself learning the new language.  You will.  But the damage of this is far less than if you refuse to learn and run the risk of looking elitist. 

6)  Only hang out with your kind – Abandon your comfort zone.  Do not hang out with only people from your country or only people that speak English.  This may be comfortable but by playing it safe you are shooting yourself in the foot.  You will ignore a ton of opportunities to interact with the amazing locals.

7)  Be a lifeless, unadventurous bore – This speaks for itself.  Take some risks, be adventurous.  Enjoy the unknown and try new things.  People will love you for it.

8)  Think you are a celebrity  - You may be lucky enough to get a lot of attention as the new arrival.  Don’t get a big head about it.  Be gracious.  Don’t take the attention for granted.  Use it to reach out to as many people as possible but don’t gloat about being the exotic new foreigner.  This gets old QUICK.  Make the best first impression possible.

9)  Don’t eat the local food – This happens with tourists all the time… they crowd around American fast food chains, pizza joints and Subway restaurants.  This is lame and is an apparent rejection of local cuisine.

10)  Get offended really easily – If you are an American or if you come from another major world power, get used to the fact that people are going to have a problem with some of your politicians and their policies.  Don’t let this get to you.  Expect it and learn to move on.  No point getting all bent out of shape.

How about you?  Lost any friends on the trail?  Let me know how in the comment section.

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Bjorn Karlman

Let me just preface my remarks by saying, “I am not good at this.”  I am not writing as an expert but rather as a fellow sufferer.  I wish I were better than I am at this and I feel like I should be after spending much of my life in some kind of international relocation or other.  What I am talking about is dealing with food I don’t like while traveling.  I suck at it.

Perhaps it is the Asian influence of my childhood years which taught me to run through walls to avoid offending someone or perhaps it is just my personality but if a host or local offers me food while I’m visiting, chances are I’ll have some of it, even if it makes me want to chuck.  And when they offer me more, no matter how bad the first serving was, I’ll likely ignore my gag reflex and endure another round.  It’s horrible, embarrassing and very much reality.

Drowning the offending food item in sauce/rice/water – One way I’ve found to compensate for my inability to say no at mealtimes is drowning the unsavory item in other food or washing it down with plenty of liquid.  When I was 16 and working in a little town in the northern part of the Philippines I remember eating huge amounts of rice with every bite of the fish that I did not like.  I don’t think anyone noticed and somehow the rice helped the fish to bypass my taste buds.

Take it, then disappear and don’t eat it – Alright, I hate to admit to this one but I’ve done it quite a few times in large group settings.  I distinctly remember pushing avocado ice cream and some goat stew off my plate (both times I was able to step outside and pull this off).  This may not work at the dinner table but it is great in potluck settings.  It seems that if you stack your plate first and eat almost all the food you can eat and then get up as though you are going for another serving, you can often subtly find a garbage can or bush that will allow for a quick offload.

Think of another food – This one may not work for everyone but it’s a trick my grandma taught me.  If you absolutely loath the food you are eating but you happen to be stuck with it, think of food you do like.  The gross food actually tasted better when I tried this.  As we mature into adults we forget the great power of the imagination.  If you are thinking about your favorite food maybe you’ll be able to stomach that one local dish that you can’t stand but people keep offering to you.

Suffer – If none of the above works there is always the option to grit your teeth (figuratively) and just suffer through.  This is obviously the least appealing option but if you aim to make friends and be adventurous in your culinary experiences oversees, you sometimes just have to munch through a few dishes that are horrible.  Think of it as your travel tax.  You are lucky to be traveling, an occasional unsavory bite may just have to be endured.

Hopefully an idea or two above will work for you on your next trip, service vacation or international food stop.  I know some of you are thinking “Why don’t you just say no?!!”  It’s obviously an option – just like saying “no” to time commitments or potential purchases.  It can be done tastefully if you place emphasis on the fact that you are so full or if you offer to take more of food that you actually do like.

Here’s the flip side though – your willingness to experiment when it comes to local food is often taken quite seriously by local hosts.  I’ve seen expats and travelers abruptly turn food down and locals often take offense or, at the very least, are unimpressed by the inflexibility of the visitor.  On the other hand, an open-minded attitude towards food shows that you don’t think you are “above” local culture and that you are genuinely open to experiencing the country.

So go forth, exercise good judgment and bon appétit!

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Bjorn Karlman

You cannot BELIEVE how excited I am.  I am going to break from the norm here on CultureMutt and ask you to PLEASE vote for me  (scroll down on the linked page and you’ll see my name listed). Why?

Jammie and I are giddy wth excitement!

Because Tim Ferriss, the TOP 1000 Blogger / New York Times Bestselling Author whom I look up to HUGELY, just shortlisted me from a group of about 300 fundraisers and I am now in the final group of 5 to be considered for a Round-the-World-Trip.

I could not believe that I had been shortlisted, it took a friend from Atlanta giving me the heads-up on Facebook for me to go and check the results.

It gets even better.  Even if I don’t win the RTW ticket, I still have a 3 out of 5 chance to be listed as one of 10 fundraisers that helped bring in $20,000 for one of three schools (with Tim’s matching gift the total raised will be $60,000 and his combined efforts will therefore build three schools) that are being built through the organization Room to Read.

Just over two weeks ago, on July 31st, I wrote What Really Matters to You, a post that helped to start get the ball rolling in terms of my own fundraising for the cause.  I explained that, in line with CultureMutt’s pursuit of “savvy, global do-gooding” I was supporting Tim Ferriss who

is absolutely one of the “architects of positive change” that I aim to emulate and write about.  He’s turning 34 and instead of b-day presents he’s asking people to donate to Room to Read – World Change Starts with Educated Children that, among other things, builds libraries in Asia and Africa.  His post invites readers to give to the cause and includes the hook that if you give and spread the word… he’ll include you in a drawing for a free round-the-world air ticket:

I ended up doing a ton of online promotion which you can read about on the voting page.  The result was that I made the cut and was listed as one of Tim’s top 5 promoters.  Tim’s readers are now voting on the best commenter/promoter out of the five shortlisted contestants.

I am trying to keep this post short and to the point but, once again, I would REALLY appreciate your vote.  My wife Jammie and I have already committed to visiting at least one of the schools/libraries that will be built as a result of this fundraising, regardless of whether I win or not.  But how much fun would it be to win!

The voting link  (look for the voting section at the bottom of Tim’s post)

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In Havana... this Cuba trip was not all smiles

I’m not sure why but there comes a time on almost every service trip that I go on at which I decide that I am sick of everyone and need to get away to avoid going crazy.  I’ve been around the same people, often eating the same food in the same cramped hostel/campsite/converted school room floor for days and I can’t take another minute.  Even the best people start to grate on you if you are around them for too long.  I feel a little bad writing this but I’ve heard the same sentiments expressed by a lot of other people so I really don’t think it is just me.  You really can suffer from companionship burnout, as bad and ungrateful as that sounds.

Resist Blowing off Steam  - One of the most dramatic expressions of relationship burnout that I have seen on a service trip was when I was with a group of teenagers in the Dominican Republic.  We were on a construction project and we had about 15 team members.  Bad sleeping conditions, extreme heat, dehydration and a generous helping of culture clash had converged and one girl got so mad at another that she threw herself at her in a full on tackle, knocking her to the ground and the whole thing turned into an all-out brawl.  We got the two separated quick enough but the blow-up put a damper on the rest of the trip.

Although I haven’t yet tackled a traveling or service project companion yet, there have definitely been times that I have snapped and later regretted saying what I did.  It takes herculean strength to avoid blowing off steam and going off on somebody but once you start to learn to hold your tongue you discover the satisfaction of knowing that you have the self-control to avoid making a fool of yourself.  Remember, if circumstances can make you a livid, ranting spectacle then they control you.  Not a pretty place to be.  Especially if the people you are yelling at are going to be your traveling or work companions for the next several days or months.

cooling off on a beautiful Cuban beach... I NEEDED it

Make Other Friends – Give old friendships some breathing space – I was on a bus tour in Cuba and as we pulled out of the Havana area a friend and I started to clash in conversations.  There was a lot of down time on the bus and rather than finding it relaxing, I found myself getting more and more annoyed at this particular friend.  There was one complication.  Apart from my sister, who was also on this particular trip, my sparring partner was the closest friend I had in Cuba.  I felt obligated to patch things up.  But when I tried to smooth over the damage done from our clash, it just got worse.  Frustrated, I did what I should have done from the start – I gave the whole thing some breathing space.  I hung out more with my sister.  I befriended some of the other students on the trip (we were on a highly supervised academic study tour from an American university) and had a great time with them on our one beach day.  The more I avoided forcing a patch-up with my friend, the better things got between us. We were cracking jokes at the end of the trip and by the time we were back stateside we hit downtown Miami with a vengeance like nothing had happened.  We’d gotten the break we needed.

Realize that just because you are on an exotic adventure, not everything can or will go well… and that’s OK

Something always goes wrong on trips.  Get over it.  Don’t let bumps in the road ruin everything for you.  Expect some awkwardness and be willing to take some heat – it’s part of the package.  Sometimes we hype overseas trips so much before leaving that we expect the whole thing to be some kind of otherworldly experience.  It can be disappointing when we realize that traveling is not magic.  Bad things happen just like they do at home.  Realizing this and being smart about your reaction to it all will determine your level of fulfillment.

How do you deal with friendships gone stale on the road?  I would love to hear your ideas!

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Bjorn Karlman