It all started when I was a freshman in college.  A couple buddies and I had flown from Geneva down to the French Riviera and, after an action-packed weekend we were on the way back to Geneva.  Only we didn’t want to pay for the last night at the hostel, especially since we had a super early flight and it hardly seemed worth paying for a night of very little sleep.  So we took the train out to the airport in Nice and stumbled in a little before midnight.  We set up camp next to the check-in desk, laid our sleeping bags out on the floor and slept fairly well until it was time to catch the flight.  I was so happy with the experience that I have become a huge fan and evangelist for airport overnighting.  Here are the advantages, as I see them, to skipping on hotels and sleeping at airports instead:

Saving Money

As mentioned, this is what got me started sleeping in airports.  It is hard to find even motel accommodation in most world cities for less than $50 so if you are traveling on a budget and would rather spend your $50 (or much more) on something else, airports are a good option, at least for  a night or two.

Security

With a few commonsense steps, you can safeguard passports and wallets (I sleep with them in my pocket).  After that, airports are often fairly safe places to sleep.  They are patrolled constantly and there are security cameras everywhere.  I have spent many a night in airports and never once been robbed or given any trouble whatsoever.  You are more likely to be troubled in an open-plan dorm-style hostel (large rooms filled with beds) than you are at an airport because airports invest so heavily in security.

Facilities

One of my pet peeves about being on the road is the condition of restrooms.  I hate dirty restrooms and will often bluff my way into upscale hotels to use nice facilities.  The great thing about airports is that the restrooms are typically in respectable shape.  They are fairly clean, have toilet paper (in certain parts of the world this is far from a given in public facilities) and many airports have showers.  Check out this awesome site for ALL you would ever want to know about the best airports to overnight in and the amenities that each have.

It’s Stylish

OK, so not always.  But more and more stylish sleep pods like these in Atlanta and Philadelphia, these snooze cubes in Dubai and these super cool sleep boxes in Moscow make it not only easier to sleep in airports, but they allow you to do so in style.  A word of caution on these though… the pricing adds up to that of a hotel if you sleep for several hours so these sleep pods are more for shorter naps.  My preference is the trend in more and more airports to get rid of those ridiculous arm rests and simply create couches like the one below that I slept on for hours in Sacramento last Sunday.

Alright, those are my initial thoughts on sleeping in airports but I’d be interested in hearing your ideas.  Hit me with some in the comments.

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Bjorn Karlman

enlightened slacker?

Travel to any global vagabonder magnet – Hong Kong, Buenos Aires, Amsterdam, Paris – you name it, and you are bound to come across a bunch of seriously confused, unemployed 20 somethings traveling on their parents’ dime and clueless as to what they are doing in life.  Start a conversation with them in hostels or streetside cafes and the picture quickly emerges:  They just finished college or are taking a break from school.  The job market sucks so they are stalling on finding a job and are instead traveling while they are still young and can do it.  They just got laid off and are drifting on severance pay.  They’ve rejected the 9-5 rat race and are now out to live on as little as possible and really enjoy life far from the distractions of the corporate grind.  Travel is a way to put off the nasty realities of life.  It’s the grand escape.

The Enlightened Traveler

Then there is the enlightened traveler.  To this type, travel is not an escape.  It is a deliberate life growth decision. For this kind of purposeful vagabonder, travel is a way to grow.  It is often well planned out – if not in terms of specific itinerary, more so in the sense that it was premeditated.  It was planned for financially.  It was a lifestyle decision.  A rejection of the suffocating norm.  An embrace of diversity.  A look into how much more life and the world has to offer.

The Grand Decision

The fact that both kinds of travelers are out there and the fact that we as travelers or internationally-minded lifestyle designers have a choice of how to live speaks to the richness of options out there.  Travel can be incredibly enriching or it can be a complete drain of resources.  You can emerge refreshed or financially and emotionally broke.  The grand decision lies with us.

Head in the Sand

The answer should not be to ignore the question.  I’ve talked to friends and colleagues that can see very little point in traveling or investing in an international broadening of horizons.  Why spend your money on travel when you could use it to enhance the day-to-day?  What’s so great about being somewhere else.? Why give up control, risk your own security and step out of your comfort role unless you need to?

Try It

Part of me says that if you have to ask these kinds of questions you are better off staying at home.  But the more hopeful side of me says that the response should be “just try it.”  Try traveling.  See if you can resist getting hooked on the thrill of adventure – the surge of adrenaline that comes with discovery – of the world and of yourself.  See if you can ever look at life and home the same way after you have experienced the chaotic beauty of the exotic urban capitol that is Bangkok.  See if a trip to the Vatican doesn’t inspire an awestruck appreciation for unmatched scale, class and architecture.  Go volunteer at an orphanage in Mexico and see if you don’t come back with a fresh perspective on life.  In short, see if you are ever the same again after giving yourself up to a genuine experience of travel, of “otherness” – even just once.

Grow Intentionally

No, the question of whether to gain or to lose from travel does not come from staying put.  It comes partly from trial and error but more so from a much deeper place.   Do you want to experience the best that the world has to offer?   Do you want to drink deeply of the richness in life?  Do you want to be transformed into someone that is more self-aware, compassionate, open-minded, tolerant and understanding?  Then choose to travel with these transformational qualities at you core.  Decide that whether it be a long weekend or a multi-year global trek, you will make travel the greatest growth experience of your life.

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Bjorn Karlman

Let me just preface my remarks by saying, “I am not good at this.”  I am not writing as an expert but rather as a fellow sufferer.  I wish I were better than I am at this and I feel like I should be after spending much of my life in some kind of international relocation or other.  What I am talking about is dealing with food I don’t like while traveling.  I suck at it.

Perhaps it is the Asian influence of my childhood years which taught me to run through walls to avoid offending someone or perhaps it is just my personality but if a host or local offers me food while I’m visiting, chances are I’ll have some of it, even if it makes me want to chuck.  And when they offer me more, no matter how bad the first serving was, I’ll likely ignore my gag reflex and endure another round.  It’s horrible, embarrassing and very much reality.

Drowning the offending food item in sauce/rice/water – One way I’ve found to compensate for my inability to say no at mealtimes is drowning the unsavory item in other food or washing it down with plenty of liquid.  When I was 16 and working in a little town in the northern part of the Philippines I remember eating huge amounts of rice with every bite of the fish that I did not like.  I don’t think anyone noticed and somehow the rice helped the fish to bypass my taste buds.

Take it, then disappear and don’t eat it – Alright, I hate to admit to this one but I’ve done it quite a few times in large group settings.  I distinctly remember pushing avocado ice cream and some goat stew off my plate (both times I was able to step outside and pull this off).  This may not work at the dinner table but it is great in potluck settings.  It seems that if you stack your plate first and eat almost all the food you can eat and then get up as though you are going for another serving, you can often subtly find a garbage can or bush that will allow for a quick offload.

Think of another food – This one may not work for everyone but it’s a trick my grandma taught me.  If you absolutely loath the food you are eating but you happen to be stuck with it, think of food you do like.  The gross food actually tasted better when I tried this.  As we mature into adults we forget the great power of the imagination.  If you are thinking about your favorite food maybe you’ll be able to stomach that one local dish that you can’t stand but people keep offering to you.

Suffer – If none of the above works there is always the option to grit your teeth (figuratively) and just suffer through.  This is obviously the least appealing option but if you aim to make friends and be adventurous in your culinary experiences oversees, you sometimes just have to munch through a few dishes that are horrible.  Think of it as your travel tax.  You are lucky to be traveling, an occasional unsavory bite may just have to be endured.

Hopefully an idea or two above will work for you on your next trip, service vacation or international food stop.  I know some of you are thinking “Why don’t you just say no?!!”  It’s obviously an option – just like saying “no” to time commitments or potential purchases.  It can be done tastefully if you place emphasis on the fact that you are so full or if you offer to take more of food that you actually do like.

Here’s the flip side though – your willingness to experiment when it comes to local food is often taken quite seriously by local hosts.  I’ve seen expats and travelers abruptly turn food down and locals often take offense or, at the very least, are unimpressed by the inflexibility of the visitor.  On the other hand, an open-minded attitude towards food shows that you don’t think you are “above” local culture and that you are genuinely open to experiencing the country.

So go forth, exercise good judgment and bon appétit!

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Bjorn Karlman

You've climbed to the top of Notre Dame in Paris. Your buddies could care less...

It’s rough coming back from a trip.  You are brimming with exciting stories, pictures and funny videos that you want to share with the world.  You want to take home all the excitement and adrenaline of the road.  You want your friends and families to get it, to share your excitement.  You want to regale them with tales of the trail – close encounters, exotic cuisine, crazy fellow travelers, beautiful sights and unpredictable adventures.

You are giddy with excitement as you grab your bags, rush through customs and head for passenger pick-up.  You strain and stand on tip-toe in arrivals, looking for the family member or friend’s car and the moment they arrive there is that flurry of excitement as hugs are exchanged, bags are thrown in the back, ugly glances are exchanged with traffic cops and you all jump in and pull out.

The loved one then asks the obligatory question:  “How was the trip?”  They may even muster “I want to know everything.”  Trust me, they don’t.  And here’s why:

1)  Travel stories are like situational humor – you had to be there.  Let’s be honest, there are few things easier to tune out than stories of amazing adventures that you did not get to go on.  If you were not there to experience it, it is hard to feel anything more than a very passing interest in what happened.  Do you care that cousin X had such a fantastic time bird watching in Costa Rica?  Not really. 

2)  Your goofy giddiness is actually kind of annoying.  I’m definitely guilty of this one.  I am more intense than most of my friends and when I tell you a story that I am really into, I really live into what I am telling you.  I get so engrossed in my storytelling that while some may enjoy it, others find it a little excessive and occasionally tell me as much:)

3)  Your stories are too far from their reality.  This is a reason not to be offended when people don’t really take an interest in the amazing time you have just had.  Their day-to-day reality is just too far removed from your stories of leisurely traipsing all over the French Riviera.  It’s not personal.  It’s just that it is hard to know where to file your accounts of spotting celebrities in Cannes, polishing off delectable baked creations from quaint little pâtisseries and lazing on fine sand beaches when reality is high gas prices and bad baby sitters at home.

4)  They’re jealous.  OK, maybe not everyone.  There are those that are genuinely happy for you.  Those that are able to live vicariously through you in a positive way.  But that’s the minority.  The most common internal response to your enthusiastic babble about safaris and Trans-Siberian rail trips?  “Shut up.”

5) You suck at telling stories.  Well, I can’t say this for sure.  You may be an excellent storyteller.  But keep your travel chronicles concise just in case.

6) They want to talk about them.  And here we arrive at the real reason nobody cares about your travel stories.  They want to tell you THEIR stories.  So settle down, stop uploading your thousands of pics and videos to Facebook and do some listening.  Hear them out and you might have some friends wiling to sit through your reminiscing.

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Bjorn Karlman

Dodge the Patriotic Amnesia of expat circles - get out and explore on your own!

It doesn’t happen right away.  It often takes several months or even years.  But sooner or later, what I call Patriotic Amnesia sinks in with most expats and they start spouting this ridiculous drivel about their home country, forgetting that there is a reason they left in the first place.  They want you to believe that they are officially from Paradise.  They have conveniently forgotten about all the problems in their home country.  They paint a picture of this homeland as though it were flowing with milk and honey.  Things are always better where they are from.  You would never have to put up with this local nonsense in their country.  Things are bigger, better and more beautiful.  It is nauseating.  It is predictable.  And it is almost universal – almost any expat can slip into it.

Given the prevalence of this kind of rhetoric in expat communities, it helps to be prepared for when you have to sit through an agonizing session of Patriotic Amnesia.  Here are a few guidelines to bear in mind:

1)  At least 50% of what you hear may be nonsense but the expat is convinced it is true – You are not an idiot.  You realize that no country on earth can possibly live up to the extravagant near-poetic descriptions of grandeur that your nostalgic expat pal is treating you to.  But here’s the thing.  He or she has talked about home SO many times and with each telling the stories have gotten bigger and bolder.  By now, the teller of the tale actually believes in his own hyperbole.  It is touching and incredibly off at the same time.  Don’t call them on it.  Just nod and smile.

2)  Do not egg them on – Notice I said nod and smile.  This is supposed to convey respect but not a carte blanche for the outsized blathering to continue indefinitely.  I have made the mistake of saying too much and then suffering through excruciatingly long monologues in which they describe the heaven-on-earth that is their country.

3)  They need this – let them have their moment – But it really is a fine balance.  You can give them their moment, think of it as doing something nice for someone else.  Often the expat in question has been away from home for a really long time.  The things he or she describes is less a description of the actual country and more a personal creation of a place that somehow transcends present-day frustrations and limitations.  Let them have this and give them the satisfaction of at least a few minutes of your time, they will appreciate you for listening.

4)  Generally something is wrong – redirect them to the source – Let’s delve a little deeper into the above “present day frustrations and limitations”.  Your expat acquaintance may be waxing eloquent about home because they have been treated badly in the new host country.  Or they may be frustrated at their own lack of progress in the process of language acquisition or understanding local customs.  Try to detect what this source of frustration is and focus on helping them with that.  Maybe you can study the language together or hit a few museums or cultural centers that will speed your mutual learning about the country and its history.

5)   What are you doing hanging out with expats? – I don’t say this to encourage elitism or a “localer than thou” attitude but if what you are doing abroad revolves around other expats then you may as well have stayed at home.  Learn to wean yourself off of the complacent comfort zone of the part of the expat community that speaks English, insists on Continental breakfasts and refuses to “stoop” to any actual activity that would allow for a real appreciation for the local scene.  Find local friends and skip the embassy crowds.

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Bjorn Karlman

Most of my friends that are living unconventional, international lifestyles absolutely LOVE their lives.  When I talk to them they tell me how glad they are that they made their decision to live differently, to explore, to grow and to experience life outside of their home country.  As much as I love Sweden, I feel the same.  I would not trade my traveling or my long-term relocation experiences for anything.  The international life is perpetually exciting, adventure-filled and full of opportunities to grow and experience the best that the world has to offer.

One of the biggest caveats to the undeniable advantages of the mobile lifestyle, however, is that a lot of people just don’t get it.  Whether they be parents, friends, bosses, colleagues or people you meet on the street, people will find it difficult to understand you and your way of thinking.  You are too different for them to get their heads around and they may therefore treat you differently, question you or hold you at arms length.  This can be discouraging at times.

Realize that although they may mean well, friends’ gut reactions to your lifestyle should be taken with a grain of salt.  I am not advocating blowing off the counsel of friends and family.  Certainly the important people in your life that care about you should be listened to and respected.  But do not expect the international, mobile and service-centered life that you have spent years dreaming about and preparing for to be understood by your average acquaintance.

Often the mere fact that you are approaching life radically differently is enough to make insecure people around you feel like you are judging their lifestyle.  There is little you can do to avoid this other than deciding for yourself that you will not judge others for their lifestyle decisions and – just as important – that you will therefore relieve yourself of the need to worry about how others see you.

Be Patient.  Cut those that question you some slack.  Put yourself in their shoes.  What if someone told you that they had decided to spend the next 10 years at a silence retreat to fully experience the benefits of never speaking a word?  If you were relatively open-minded you could appreciate the potential benefits of such a life choice but you would probably still consider the decision questionable at best.

Now look at your situation.  You are telling friends and family that you are leaving behind school, your reasonably paid job or even worse, your current stint of unemployment, to travel the world and do some volunteering in Asia.  You what?  On face value it does sound a little crazy.  But hang in there, some of the doubters will turn into supporters if you stay in touch faithfully and give them updates on your progress.  Who knows – your updates of new friends, adventures, romances, exotic job offers, delicious food, fascinating conversations and meaningful opportunities to serve, might turn some of the doubters into your staunchest supporters.

Embrace your new family.  Here’s a refreshing rule of thumb:  Your new base of supporters and “fans” will soon outnumber the doubters, detractors and naysayers.  As more and more people hear about your refreshing and empowering life choices, you’ll start to develop a support crew of people that think what you are doing is great.  They will often be more passionate in their praise than the party poopers complaining from their armchairs at home.  You only have one life so focus on the smiling, happy people that are building you up rather than those that do nothing but criticize.  These new supporters become your new road “family”.  Whether they are Facebook friends, blog readers, Twitter followers or real life local friends, celebrate the people around you that love and appreciate you for who you are and what you stand for.  They are there for you and they “get it”.

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Bjorn Karlman

A few posts ago a friend and loyal CultureMutt reader, Tristan complained about overseas travelers that are in a phase where they refuse to talk to any other foreigner.  If you’ve tried to socialize with fellow travelers abroad at hostels or elsewhere, you’ve probably come across some of these types.  They somehow think that if they ignore all the other obviously foreign people and focus on being super “local”, they will somehow transcend the ranks of the mere tourist and become honorary citizens of the host country.  It’s gross.  And it only gets worse with long-term relocation expat types.  They are convinced that their three years and counting automatically qualify them as connoisseur insiders and that you have to spend at least as long as they have in the country before they will fraternize with you.

Here are my tips for how to deal with these types if and when you run into them:

Avoid them

This might be the easiest option.  If you are only visiting for a short time and you want to dodge the patronizing looks and condescending comments of expat know-it-alls, learn to spot them and then avoid them.  Expat snobs will name-drop, speak pejoratively about the US and a lot of the other typical tourist home bases and constantly act surprised at your lack of knowledge of some quirky local custom or hot spot.  As soon as you get these comments or as soon as you hear them being dished at someone else, get away from the source.  They are seeking some kind of complex validation and are never satisfied.  Better to actually talk to a real local, they are more likely to be receptive to honest questions and interest in their culture and way of life.

Speak the local language to them

But suppose you do want to engage the snobs, how do you do it?  One thing I noticed about “localer than thou” language students was that if you speak to them in the local language, you automatically win points in their book.  I remember a guy I met in France.  He ignored or rolled his eyes at most of his fellow language school students.  I came to the school on a recruiting trip and during my down time I started to speak French to him.  That seemed to be the magic switch that turned him into an engaging, enthusiastic conversation partner.  He was apparently sick of language students that he felt were holding back his progress by speaking English to him.  A lot of people disliked him for his seeming arrogance.  But he finished his year in France speaking superb French, something 90% of his classmates did not.  The key to engaging him was to help him achieve his goals by speaking French to him – simple as that.

Talk local

Going with the same logic, if you want to neutralize the snootiness of the localer than thou, get local with them.  If you ask them the right questions and show respect for their feel for the lay of the land, they will typically be willing to share.  However the will NOT want to hear about how expensive/cheap, big/small, quaint or ordinary local products and attractions seem to you compared to what they are at home.  A lot of American expats especially, are sick of being associated with American tourists that come bumbling into town with their potbellies, fanny packs and constant comparisons to how things are in Texas.  DO NOT embarrass or harass them with such observations, it does not help you or your bid for acceptance.

Traveling or working abroad is an art and you learn as you go.  Take the above into consideration, remember to respect and learn from the local way and you will set yourself up for success.

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Bjorn Karlman

back in my Europe-dwelling days on a three-day Paris trip

When I was in my teens I lived about an hour by train west of London.  My dad taught at a college that drew a lot of American college students, eager to “do Europe” for a year.   One of the most frustrating thing about some of these students was the accent that they would try to fake.  Nothing made the English roll their eyes more than the latest American attempt at copying their accent.  It was genuinely painful to listen to.

The irony of course, was that in this desperate attempt at generating street cred, the offending 19 year-old American was accomplishing just the opposite.  The locals would at best put up with or overlook the posturing.  When it got bad enough, the aspiring Hugh Grant actually took a social beating.

Sure, socially punishing those that fake their accent may have been a little harsh of the English.  But the root of the problem was deeper than just a question of accents – it had to do with the accent impostor’s lack of self-confidence.  More than anything, self-confidence and a belief in what you can bring to the table is important when you are abroad.  You’ve got to keep it real.

Be your “confident self” – you will be rewarded

If you present yourself confidently, as though you have “nothing to hide”, your unique qualities and foreign ways will come across as refreshing and interesting.  It pays to be different.  This is very different from being cocky.  Cockiness masks insecurity badly and most people can see right through it, especially when you are being cocky on their turf.  But a warm confidence speaks volumes.

Learn from but do not copy

A willingness to learn lies at the heart of any successful relocation experience.  Rather than coming with an expectation that you will teach others how things should be done, arriving in another country with a blank slate and a willingness to learn is so helpful to you and so appreciated by locals.  This does not mean that you copy locals as in the above example of inauthentic accent imitation.   Instead, this is all about learning from the good and letting it organically enrich your life and experience.  Have you relocated to a country that spends two hours on lunch every day?  Learn to appreciate this natural emphasis on life balance, natural rhythm and nurtured relationships and apply it to your life.  Are there tweaks that you can make so that your family and friends feel more appreciated and cared for when they are in your presence?

Be the “reasonable foreigner”

The opposite of the “ugly American” or Swede for that matter, is the “reasonable one”.  I am always impressed by those that arrive in a new country and context with a clear determination to build bridges.  There is so much that you could potentially disagree with and start judging when you travel.  RESIST THE TEMPTATION.  Instead, seek out the areas of common ground that you can build upon.  There is always a lot of good that can be celebrated about your host nation’s culture and ways.  Be the foreigner that seeks these good things out.  Make sure your hosts know that you appreciate them and their unique cultural qualities.  If you start by emphasizing common ground a near-magical thing happens – the locals around you start to think “she gets it” or “he’s adjusting so well” and they will be much more likely to want to invest time and effort in getting to know you and making you feel comfortable.

Travel and relocation can be some of the best adventures of life if you approach them with a gentle confidence.  Be real.  Be yourself.  This builds trust and goodwill – the currency of international success.

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Bjorn Karlman

some volunteer friends pretending to pass out after feasting in a Seoul restaurant

There is something seriously refreshing about service-minded globetrotters.  Some of the best people I have ever met, I have gotten to know on campuses and other outposts around the world.  They have generally been volunteers of some kind or people working for nonprofits.  Once you take away money as the main motivator in people’s lives and add a love for global travel in its place, people tend to really blossom into amazing human beings.   They just seem to automatically sound more interesting, more fun and better rounded.  They have real spark and a definite energy about them.  It’s incredible and I always enjoy meeting them.

I’ve often tried to work out what it is that makes these globe trotters tick.  Here are a few things that I have observed:

1) They see the bigger picture

I remember skiing with a guy in Northern Sweden who was convinced that he would never need to learn English.  I was 16 at the time but I still felt like the guy needed to travel a little and expand his understanding of the world.  The tragedy is that he may actually have been right.  If you stay in the same place your whole life, you may not need to grow and develop into an informed world citizen.  But you miss so much by this kind of complacency.  Those that travel are almost automatically more open minded, tolerant, understanding and more likely to see the bigger picture.  This is a very valuable quality.  Getting stuck in provincial nit-picking bickering is highly unattractive and a waste of time.

2) They are more curious – Travel – specifically service-minded travel – grows you as a human being.  It specifically grows your mind and forces you to ask questions – both of yourself and of those around you.  You discover more ways of being human.  You learn that there are different and often better ways of doing things.  You discover the beauty of other cultures and ways of seeing life.  It is exciting and drives you to learn more and more.  As you try to help people from other places, you yourself grow – it is always a two-way street. 

3) They are flexible – Anyone who has traveled extensively or done service-related work oversees knows that in order to be happy you have got to learn to be flexible.  You do give up a lot of c0ntrol in travel.  That is part of the beauty.  New environments will often mean an unpredictable schedule, re-written rules and a lot of other situations forcing you out of your comfort zone.  It is here that the seasoned international do-gooder adapts and stretches – it is healthy and a very positive thing.

4) They love the unknown – One step further than learning flexibility is actually learning to love the unknown. I find that seasoned service-minded relocators actually relish the adventure and growth that comes from deliberately tackling more of the unknown than most will see.  A foreign environment keeps you on your toes because you are constantly exploring and learning.  What lies ahead is unknown and with practice you can learn to see this for the excellent, suspense-filled growth opportunity it brings  rather than mourning the loss of the familiar.

A service mindset, powered by global travel has incredible power to make you a better, more interesting and exciting individual.  Why delay?  Find a cause, find a location and make the jump.  The world and you yourself will be better for it.

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Bjorn Karlman

me proposing to Jammie... a big move that could not wait:)

Are you sitting on a big decision right now?  Are you putting it off because it is just a little too scary?  It probably has the potential to change your life, right?  A choice between jobs.  The question of whether to go back to school.  The decision of whether or not to get married.  It’s intimidating.  And often the excuse that you and I give ourselves for putting it off is timing.  We convince ourselves that a little more time will somehow improve our set of life circumstances, that we will be wiser or the future will be clearer if we just wait a little longer.

And yes, this can be true at times.  But more often than not, immediate action is your answer.  Don’t put your life on hold any more.  As Tim Ferriss, in his lifestyle design rhetoric stresses, The timing is never right.  There will never be a better time to start living a courageous life.  It is time for us to DO something.  As CultureMutt is about savvy, global do-gooding, this post will focus on beating timing related stalling over big life decisions.

Acknowledge the fear

Each time I decided to do something unconventional involving international relocation I have had to face my own fears.  Am I just escaping?  Will I fall behind everyone else?  What if I fail at my assignment / language learning / relationship building?  Do I have what it takes?  Will I lose my friendships at home?  These questions are scary because they deal with the unknown and because they address the possibility of failure.  What I have found each time is that none of these questions are unhelpful in themselves.  They are worth asking and it is important to work out contingency plans and to face any adventure with the right mindset – as an adventure of growth rather than as a cowardly escape.  But the fact that these are valid questions does not mean that you should spend forever agonizing over them.  Don’t put off these questions for a “better time”.  Feel the fear, deconstruct it by writing down answers to the scary questions and talking the fear over with friends.  But DO NOT let it slow you down.

Face your worst-case scenario

How bad would it be if the worst thing possible took place?  There are always dangers and perils that threaten you.  Picture yourself living the worst-case scenario.  More often than not, the disaster scenario still leaves you with a pulse, correct?  Delaying your life over timing dilemmas WILL NOT HELP.  In reality, calm steps and smart thinking would allow you to dig yourself out of your potential mess.  On the other hand, the blue sky scenario or even an average result of your big bold step can often pay off huge.  I often think of famous people that made risky decisions that paid off.  I imagine how they processed the risks – their fears and doubts.  And then I think about what they would do in my shoes.  I am often a little embarrassed when I realize how much more bold they would be, living a day in my life.

Make decisions in your happy place

Hands-down one of my best decision making periods is the cool-down period after a run.  I currently have a little stress-busting routine that I indulge in several times a week – I run out to my local airport (just over 2 miles) and then I walk back.  The run out helps me build up a sweat and mull over frustrations and fears.  And the cool down period on the walk home is this period of extreme clarity when I think better than I have all day – it is as if a mental haze lifts and I am able to dream big and make bold decisions.  I trust the decisions I make directly after runs a lot more than I trust decisions made out of the aggravations of the everyday grind.  Find what works for you and make your decisions about overseas relocation, service and travel from a happy, relaxed, endorphin-charged place. Make courageous decisions, not jaded, tired, procrastination-laden ones.

Take tiny steps in the right direction

One of my best friends and I attracted a lot of eye rolling a few years back when we came up with what we called the “non-negotiables”.  We each came up with a list of things we HAD to do every week day.  I think my list (which included things like “go running”, “study Mandarin”, “start learning to play the piano”, etc) translated to 5-7 hours of work a day, on top of my full-time job.  Some of it was fun.  I was living in a grimy part of Hollywood at the time but I would go running on a four mile loop that included the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  But the crazy hours and sleep deprivation soon caught up with us.  We tried to help each other out – my buddy showed me some of the piano basics and I helped him with his French vocab but within a couple weeks when another friend asked us about the non-negotiables, my buddy summed up our progress with, “well they’ve become a little more negotiable.”

Looking back, the deliberate steps toward self-improvement were not the problem but the required steps were too big.  Whenever I’ve forced myself to take small yet intentional steps towards a goal, it has paid off though.  Little steps can be taken now, you don’t have to wait for the “right timing”.  Take the step and accomplish something!

Track your efforts

Lately I’ve become a tracking nerd.  I’ve noticed that tracking almost anything means that you will do better and better at it.  I track how much I run, how often I post on CultureMutt and how much I weigh among other things.  Seeing the numbers does something very valuable – it makes me compete against myself.  Where previously I’ve been putting things off out of fear, now I am constantly trying to best yesterday’s efforts at achieving the goal.  It is fun and it is satisfying – especially because it allows me to see my own progress over time.

Decide right now that the time is right for you to start living your generous, intentional, international life.  We each have it in us to move past timing-related excuses to the courageous, fulfilling life of action that lies ahead.

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Bjorn Karlman